As we close out 2016 and this current 9-year cycle, times have become intense. Knowing that this next 9-year cycle begins in 2017 and we can choose what we want to release and what we want to bring forward for the next 9 years feels like a big responsibility, but also an awesome opportunity!
For me, these past few weeks, in particular, have been uncomfortable, but have also brought many miracles. At times, it has been a painful experience, but knowing all is for the greatest good has helped me to allow the pain and to find comfort in it. Knowing this is an important time of purging and release has nudged me in even greater ways to see more deeply into those spaces that we sometimes like to pretend do not exist.
A major component that has surfaced for me was feelings of unworthiness. The main phrases I heard from my father growing up were, “Be still”, and “wait for the commercial”. It made me feel like I was completely irrelevant, unimportant, and had no real right to be here. The only time I was acknowledged was when I was serving someone else, or being helpful in a way that had no regard for myself. So, I quickly learned that I had no place here unless I was doing those things.
You can imagine how that belief system translated into my adult life. I chose relationships where people needed serious help. Ones where I could feel like I was making a difference, therefore finding my value. I found myself in relationships with extreme narcissists, where their deep well of need would have kept me busy for lifetimes. My soul was screaming at me. I was in an argument with Self, full of contradiction of what I thought I was meant to do here and what I needed for me. It left me in some pretty questionable places.
We know that lessons will continue to surface until we learn them, but they will also continue to get louder until we listen. Oh, did they get loud! Life provided me with situations and people that were so uncomfortable that I could no longer ignore. When we finally get to that place of complete and utter discomfort, that is when we make the changes needed to evolve. When we get to the place where we can no longer ignore our situations, we get strong. We fight. We become bold. And we change.
This past year has been about putting my pieces back together. It has been about coming back to self and realizing what I will no longer accept in my life. It has been about honoring self and finding peace in loving myself. It has been about finding my value. And now, it is about reclaiming that.
As we work through lessons, especially the deep and hard ones, they surface in layers. They were not created in a day and they take time and nurturing to come back into original form. But, even better than original form, they now emerge with great strength, deeper levels of love, understanding, and permanent healing. When we take time to dedicate to Self, we change our internal structure and ultimately, our current and future reality.
This task is not for the meek. You have to know when you are ready to tackle this work. How will you know? Your soul will tell you. You will feel an overwhelming urge to do something different. You will feel tired of the ways things are. You will feel like you deserve better than where you are and where you have been. Then, my darlings, are you ready to dive in! Let your soul urgings be your guide.
I have been working diligently for years and have cleared and expanded time and time again. I love soul work. I love getting to know my inner workings more intimately. I love to be able to share my insights with others and assist them in finding their depths as well. It is what fuels me. It is why I love what I do. I get to help bring people back to themselves. Such a blessing, but also a HUGE responsibility!
Within this realm of responsibility, I am especially responsible for my own work and can not, even for a second, ignore that. If I am not at my best, how can I possibly hold space for others? It is not a heavy feeling that I carry, but an exciting one fueled by a deep desire to help all step into their purest potential! We are all constant works in progress and that in itself is a great blessing.
What I have found to be true is that soul work has no destination. It, and life is truly about the journey and how you chose to feel along the way. I have been working for a long time to get to my bottom, my core, my depth, and ultimately, my origin. I have been working to release all that resides there that I no longer need to carry. I have been through layers and layers of stuff and have gained deep clarity along the way that has opened new worlds of potential and possibility. This, my friends, is the greatest journey you will ever take. You will know when you are ready!
If you are finding yourselves ready to dive in and make changes for your next 9-year cycle, please reach out!
Wishing each one of you an amazing close to 2016 and many blessings for the new year!!